Truth Shall Set You Free
by BrilliantDarkness
Summary: There is so much Spencer hasn't told Maggie. It's bothering him and he feels now is the time. Might only be a couple of chapters but then again things sometimes change. Rated T for now but who knows where it will end up.
1. Chapter 1

**For anyone wondering, I am still working on Where the Sidewalk Ends. But having just experienced violent crime firsthand, I'm having trouble with crime fiction. Once I get my own case of PTSD Under control, I will resume writing that. Promise. This was easier to write though there may only be one or two more chapters to this particular story.-J**

Spencer stood in the darkness of Maggie's living room gazing out the picture window into the nighttime of Maggie's street. He wasn't sure why he had woken up. It was well before the time when Browning usually demanded attention and there was no noise, no bad dream; he had just found himself awake with a slightly uneasy feeling that didn't allow him to resume his slumber. He tried. He laid there for a while listening to Maggie's even breathing and hoping it would lull him as it usually did. It didn't. So here he stood in his pajama bottoms, shirtless and slightly chilled absently observing the small circles of illumination cast by the streetlights.

"You okay, Honey?"

Spencer started and turned at Maggie's voice.

"Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Not so much, it was more like your absence woke me. I've been a little protective lately in case you hadn't noticed."

Spencer smiled and gave a half laugh.

"More like over protective, it's cute though."

"Well, I have to look out for my prince; I don't seem to have a spare."

"I thought I was supposed to be your brave knight. My lady shouldn't have to be the one looking after me."

"I think the chivalric code has changed a bit over the years. So what is keeping you awake my love?"

"I wish I knew."

"I guess we'll just have to figure it out. I'll put some tea on; chamomile okay?"

He nodded absently.

Once tea was made, Maggie pulled Spencer over to the couch.

"Baby, you are so cold! Here get under the blanket with me."

She pulled an afghan over the two of them and leaned back on the couch with Spencer's head resting on her chest.

"Now you tell me what's rattling around in that amazing mind of yours."

"I know so much about you. I know about your rape, your family, the fact you have no contact with them. I know why you are estranged from them. I know you are an only child and while often lonely, you are very comfortable with your own company. You know so little about me. I feel like I'm keeping secrets from you and I don't think that's a good thing."

"You aren't keeping secrets; you just aren't as much a heart on your sleeve type of person as I am. I know you'll tell me more about yourself as you feel comfortable. I know a lot already; probably more than you've been at ease with. I'm sure that getting you off of the plane and being the one to clean you up and tuck you in that night wasn't in your comfort zone."

"Knowing that I can trust you like that is a sign I can trust you with everything."

"Like what?"

"Like my past."

"Oh. Pasts can be very dark places."

"Indeed they can. I guess you have figured that my childhood wasn't an overly happy thing."

"I know you were still a child when you graduated high school and that must have been lonely and that the other students were probably terrible to you."

He nodded.

"It didn't help things at all that my mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. Sometimes she was fine but not often. My dad left when I was ten. I guess with the hours he worked to try to avoid us, he really left long before that. I held a lot of anger toward him for a long time but we are getting better. I had my mother institutionalized when I was 18. I still feel guilty even though I know it was the best thing for her."

Maggie squeezed him tighter stroking and kissing his hair.

"Oh my love, how terrible for you. Is your mother still in the hospital?"

"Yes. She always will be. There's no cure and she just needs more supervision than I could give her. I write to her everyday to assuage my own guilt for not being there more."

"Does she know what happened?"

"She's gotten a very highly edited version of the events. She knows about you though. She was a literature professor also. I think she likes the idea of you."

"Perhaps I can meet her sometime?"

He looked uncomfortable.

"Perhaps."

"Could I write to her? Would that be alright?"

This brought a smile to Spencer's face and a slight bit of relaxation.

"I think she would like that."

"Were you afraid to tell me this, Spencer?"

"I think I was a little. That you might not want to be with someone with such a messed up family."

"You know about my family and you didn't run away. Yours isn't worse than mine."

"It's not just my family I have kept from you."

"Whatever else there is, you don't have to tell me unless you are sure you're ready."

Spencer sat up to look at Maggie with an uncertain look.

"I feel kind of like I am on a roll. If I don't tell you now, I might never get the courage again."

"I'm listening. Tell me if you want to, whatever you want to, whatever you're ready and okay with telling me."

"Remember I told you I was held hostage once by an unsub with DID?"

Maggie nods.

"His name was Tobias Hankel. He was a nice enough fellow but his father was cruel and then he had one other personality that was the angel Raphael. The father personality beat me and Raphael kept playing a sick version of Russian roulette. Hankel was himself, a drug addict. He had become one to deal with his father's abuse. While I was being held, Hankel shot me up with Dilaudid. I didn't want him to but by the end of the experience I was starting to look forward to the oblivion it brought. After I was rescued, I took the rest of Hankel's drugs. I am an addict. I'm clean now and I haven't used in well over a year, almost two. I still want it sometimes. Less now that I know you but still when the nightmares get bad or when I was at the cabin, I wish I could retreat into that void that just negates the bad for me."

Maggie was silent for a time and Spencer was very afraid that finding out her boyfriend was a drug addict might be the news that she just couldn't handle. Finally she spoke.

"My God, no wonder you have nightmares. I will never get used to the danger you are in when you go away. I love you."

"I love you too."

"You really want it less now?"

"Yes. I find I want to escape less with you in my life."


	2. Chapter 2

Maggie looked very seriously at Spencer and contemplated what he had told her. In her wildest imaginings, she never would have pegged him for a drug addict but then that was one of the many things that weren't evident in the cover of a book. There was much more she wanted to ask him but his uneasy expression told her that this wasn't the best time. He needed reassurance that he hadn't made a mistake by confiding in her.

"Wow. You did have some things to get off of your chest didn't you?"

Spencer looked at her guiltily.

"Are you able to get some sleep now, my love? You look so very tired."

He nodded looking like a huge weight had been lifted from him.

"Maggie?"

"Yes, dear? You don't have any other bombshells for me tonight, do you?"

"No, I just want to make sure you're okay. I unloaded an awful lot onto you."

"You took me by surprise but I'm glad you told me."

The two made their way up the stairs and were soon tucked snuggly under the blankets with Maggie curled around Spencer, her head nuzzled into his neck and her arm wrapped tightly around his middle. Barrett and Browning were soon curled up by their feet and were purring softly. Between the purring and Maggie's rhythmic breathing, Spencer was soon sound asleep.

* * *

Hours later, without looking at the clock, Spencer had no way of knowing how many hours, Spencer awoke with a start. He remembered telling Maggie about the things that shamed him so very much and here he was alone. Panic set in quickly as he was sure she had snuck away afraid to be near such an unstable person. It was then that he allowed himself to fully take in his surroundings. He could hear the shower running and over the sound of the falling water, he could hear singing. Loud singing, as was the norm when Maggie was in a good mood.

"What a day this has been what a rare mood I'm in, why it's almost like being in love!!!!!"

If Spencer was not mistaken, that was Brigadoon. And it certainly wasn't the song choice of a woman who wanted away from her man. Spencer heard the water turn off and the song changed. This time it was most certainly Rogers and Hammerstein. South Pacific; he was sure of it.

"I'm as corny as Kansas in August, I'm as normal as blueberry pie. No more a poor little girl with no heart, I have found me a wonderful guy!"

Spencer just laid back and smiled listening to the morning serenade. Before he knew it, the voice was growing louder as Maggie moved toward the bedroom and neared her grand finale with a crescendo.

"I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy!"

"Are you really?"

Maggie giggled and blushed lightly. If there was anything in the world more wonderful than Maggie's giggle, Spencer sure didn't know what it could be. He truly felt like the king of all things when he could elicit such a magical sound from his love.

"Why, yes, I most assuredly am in love with a very wonderful guy."

"You'll have to introduce me sometime."

"Actually I think you already know him. He's tall and kind of slender and devastatingly handsome. Very smart, and brave and thoughtful; he saves lives and nurtures young minds for a living."

It was Spencer's turn to blush. Maggie climbed onto the bed, letting her towel fall as she did.

"Right now I have this undeniable urge to kiss this wonderful man who has stolen my heart."

"Well he's a fool if he turns away a kiss from such a lovely woman."

"He's not ever turned me away yet."

Maggie leans in and kisses Spencer firmly. When she pulls back, she is smiling.

"I guarantee that this man you love will never deny you a kiss."

"He better never or else he might find himself denied a few things."

"Believe me, Maggie; I'd never risk incurring your wrath."

* * *

Spencer and Maggie sat curled together on the porch swing enjoying a late breakfast of bagels and orange juice.

"Maggie, are you okay with everything I told you last night?"

"I have to admit to being surprised but I can't say I'm terribly upset. You can't help your family. I know that better than most and I would imagine that what you went through, the drugs would have been a relief."

"I was so afraid you wouldn't want to stay with a drug addicted potential schizophrenic. It doesn't make me sound like a very good catch."

"To be fair, you are a recovering addict which means you are not using and you're getting a little old to have an onset of schizophrenia, aren't you?"

"You are really just a Pollyanna aren't you?"

"There's always a bright side and a not so bright side to everything and if given the choice, I prefer the bright one. We can't choose the things that happen to us or the circumstances we find ourselves in but we can choose our perspective and our attitude."

"You're a genius."

"Coming from you, that's high praise indeed. So why don't you want me to meet your mother?"

"What?"

"When I asked about meeting her someday you tensed all up and got very odd acting, why don't you want me to meet her?"

"You really could be a profiler."

"No way. I couldn't look at the things you do every day and still think clearly. I'll stick with my fluffy little poems. Now I asked you a question that you are clearly evading."

"You wouldn't want me to meet your mother. I don't think it should be that much of a mystery."

"Your mother loves you and you are close to her even though you can't truly tell her everything and you don't get to see her as often as you might like. My mother doesn't even like me and we are basically strangers. I'm afraid I don't see the correlation."

"It can be difficult talking to my mother. On a good day she's a little odd; you'd find her charmingly quirky. But if you catch the wrong day she can be erratic, possibly violent and even scary."

"And this is what you lived with everyday when you were a child?"

Spencer nods.

"Then wouldn't you think I would want a better understanding? Give me a chance to understand you."

"I keep making the mistake of underestimating you."

"Dumb move for such a smart boy."

And she giggled and Spencer knew that everything in his world would be perfect forever if he could only he could make sure she always had something to giggle at.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer and Maggie were walking along hand in hand not really talking but just enjoying being near each other. Maggie stifled a giggle which never failed to make Spencer's heart leap but still he turned to her with a questioning look.

"You must really be a magician. I can't tell which fingers are yours and which are mine."

"You are hopelessly silly, you know that?"

"Uh-huh."

"It's a good thing I like silly."

"Sweetie? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"How did you quit?"

"Quit what?"

"The Dilaudid, that's like an opiate, isn't it? Am I being too nosy? I don't want you to regret telling me but I just wonder about things."

"I could never regret telling you. You can always ask me anything, even if it's uncomfortable. I just quit. I just stopped using."

"Just like that? Was there withdrawl? Did you go to meetings? Oh God, I'm such a nag. Tell me to shut up."

"I don't want you to shut up. Yes, there was some withdrawl and it wasn't a lot of fun but I got through. I've been to a handful of meetings. I always know when and where there are meetings but I go only when I feel the craving to use. I haven't at all since I've known you. Mostly."

"Why 'mostly'? Have you wanted to use recently?"

"In the cabin with Karsten, when I knew where things were going to go, I wished that I had something but I found another way to survive. If I had woken the next morning alone in my apartment, I'd have found a way to get a hold of some drugs. But I woke up next to you warm in your bed knowing that I was safe and loved and drugs didn't even enter my mind."

"You really know how to make a girl feel good, don't you?"

"Maggie, all I really know is the truth and that's all I can give you. I'm afraid I'm not skilled at an interpersonal interaction and especially not dealing with women."

"Maybe not dealing with women but you are an expert at telling me what I want to hear. I love you. Maybe it's just refreshing to meet someone who does tell me the truth. Maybe it's that you find my craziness endearing. I don't know what it is but I am constantly surprised by you and how much I feel for you. I keep waking up next to you having to pinch myself to remember that it's real; that I have this wonderful man in my life. I can't believe that you love me. I can't believe that someone like you would love someone like me."

Spencer stops walking to contemplate what has just been said. Maggie realizes that she is walking alone and stops to turn toward Spencer.

"Okay genius man, I know you are by far talented enough to walk and think at the same time. Do you need to sit down to facilitate that extra energy you are diverting to your brain?"

Spencer nods and takes a seat on a bench next to her.

"Maggie, what do you mean by someone like me and someone like you?"

"You are so smart and handsome and brave and I'm, well, boring and silly and you could have someone so much prettier. I googled you and found a picture of you with some actress. You deserve someone like her and yet every morning I wake up and there you are in my bed holding me. It's like a dream."

"You are so beautiful and I'm not the only one who thinks so. You should hear the way the male students talk about you. Lila was beautiful, that is true but you are every bit as pretty as she is and you have a mind I can love and respect and we have an intimacy that comes from knowing each other so well and we can talk to each other for hours or just sit together and read and pet the cats. I feel like I am dreaming every morning. I can smell your hair and feel your breath against my skin. When you laugh, I swear it is the sweetest music in all the world and if I was the one to make you laugh then I am the most wonderful person in all the world for making you want to laugh. You should always be laughing, it tears me apart when you are sad or when you feel you aren't good enough for all of the good things you deserve."

"Could any two people be more messed up than we are?"

"I think that's why we work. We are both messed up in the same way."

Maggie laughs loudly and throws her arms around him squeezing him tightly.

"I may always think you deserve better than me but I don't plan on letting you go. I'm selfish like that."

Spencer drank in her beauty. She was smiling and her whole face was aglow with happiness and something else, love? Could being in love make her that illuminated? He knew it made him feel that way.

"What are you thinking about now?"

"How being in love enhances your beauty. Do you know how your eyes sparkle when you smile like that?"

"Do they?"

"Yes, I can't ever get enough of how your whole being smiles, not just your mouth but your whole face and even your whole body."

Maggie blushed and looked down. She was still not accustomed to the constant compliments that Spencer showered upon her and when she couldn't deflect them with some witty remark, she often felt uncomfortable and unworthy. She knew that anything he said was something that he truly believed but she wasn't used to such things being said about her and she wasn't sure how to take it.

"Maggie, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

She hadn't realized that she was but in fact there were tears cascading down her cheeks. Once she noticed that she was crying, the sobs came and she hugged her beau as tightly as she could.

"Sweetie, what's the matter? Did I say something to upset you?"

Spencer was very confused. He was sure that his words could not have hurt her but then why would she be crying? Oh things were so much simpler when he was on his own. Sure they were much lonelier but they made sense. Now he found himself constantly questioning his words and actions.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I've just never had anyone in my life who loved me. Not really loved me. I just am overwhelmed sometimes by how wonderful it feels to love someone and have that love returned. It's something I never truly believed I would experience."

Spencer wrapped Maggie in his arms and tried to make everything well inside of her. He forgot sometimes what an emotionally abusive upbringing that Maggie had endured. As hard as his own childhood had been, his mother saw him as the most wonderful person in the world. Maggie's parents had nothing but contempt for her. He was not sure why but he knew that there had been no contact between Maggie and her parents in years. He could see the pain in her eyes when she spoke of them and he wished he could heal all of her wounds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here you go Tina! I don't write these only for you but I know how you enjoy them!-J**

At night, Spencer and Maggie are laying in bed reading, the cats curled between them sleeping.

"So you're cool with a drug addict boyfriend?"

"You are just determined to put yourself down, aren't you?"

Spencer smiled like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"I just…"

"You just have as poor of self esteem as I do."

"I guess."

"I don't understand why. You were always the best and the brightest. How can you not know that? It's not like there was ever anyone that could come near your intellect."

"There's more to feeling good about yourself than being smart, especially where women are concerned."

"Like what types of things?"

"Like physical attributes and social skills, the types of things I do not possess."

Maggie laughs at him and Spencer is taken momentarily aback by her outburst.

"Oh my sweet Prince Charming, you are such a silly man. Do you really think there is anything I need or want that you do not have?"

"I look at the men that have women flocking to them and they are like Morgan; muscled and self-assured. I'm scrawny and pale and awkward."

"You are beautiful. I won't deny that Morgan is a nice enough looking man but women are very psychological where attraction is concerned. We like men we can converse with and men we can trust. You are everything I have ever dreamed of in a man."

"Really? You sat around as a child and dreamed of a pasty, nerdy looking guy with a mentally ill mother and a drug problem?"

"You just made me sound like a big pile of crazy."

"How did me describing myself make you sound crazy?"

"I'm not sure but you did."

It was Spencer's turn to laugh.

"I think you may be the only person I've ever met with worse self esteem than I have. Maggie how in the world did you end up so self-loathing?"

"You really have to ask? Let's see, my parents don't even like me let alone love me. When I finally got a date in college, he raped me. Exactly which part of that would make me feel like I was anything worth anything at all?"

"I'm sorry, honey, I knew all of that and I shouldn't have brought it up. I told you I have no social skills."

"You're fine, I just get testy. It's not like it's your fault. I shouldn't get snippy with you."

"I sort of deserved that."

"No, you didn't. You are always so good to me. You are the one person in my life who has ever made me feel good about myself. You make me feel beautiful and worthy of love. No one else ever has made me feel that way before."

"You should feel that way all the time."

Maggie snuggled into Spencer's chest and sighed contentedly.

"Maggie, what led to your fallout with your parents? I mean I know you never had a good relationship with them but I'm guessing you used to speak with them until something happened."

"It wasn't a big huge event or anything, more of a slow drift. We were never close and we never got along. I wish I knew why they always had such contempt for me but I really don't. Eventually we just stopped calling and writing and no one seemed to notice. I don't think about them that much. I guess I still love them, they are my parents after all but I know the love isn't reciprocated and never will be."

"I'm sorry. I know this sounds so trite but it is their loss to not have you in their lives."

"I don't think they see it that way."

Spencer kissed her forehead and looked visibly upset that she had been so fundamentally rejected. He couldn't imagine the hurt that would cause. Well, he sort of could, he went through years of his life believing that his own father had rejected him, only recently learning the truth. But while his father was around, he never really doubted that his father cared about him, even if he didn't always know how to show it and he knew that his father was proud of him.

"Oh God, you look like you're about to cry Spencer. Baby, I didn't mean to depress you."

"No, you didn't depress me. I just don't like the idea of anyone hurting you."

* * *

The next day Spencer was poking around Maggie's library. Looking through the shelves of books he was looking for something he hadn't read and there were actually quite a few titles with which he was unfamiliar. For being so focused on her specialty of poetry, she had rather eclectic tastes in her own reading. Then he happened upon a fabric bound book that had no title written on it. He cautiously took it off of the shelf to take a closer look at the book. It was covered in a floral fabric like nothing Spencer had a frame of reference for. Opening the book he saw why it didn't seem like a regular book; it was a journal. Inside the cover was only written "Margaret E. James." Funny, with all he knew about her, he didn't know what the "E" stood for. He was starting to put the book down when he heard a voice behind him.

"What did you think?"

Spencer turned around. He didn't want Maggie to think he was snooping through her diary. He would never dream of doing such a thing.

"I, um, didn't…I wouldn't."

"You didn't read it?"

"No! Of course I didn't!"

"What do you think is in it?"

"It's your diary, isn't it?"

"Do I look dumb enough to keep my diary on a shelf in the library?"

Spencer wasn't sure how to respond and thankfully he didn't have to as Maggie continued speaking.

"It's where I keep the poems I have written. I do often get a little, um hinky about people reading my poems but you can. I trust you. Those span from junior high through to fairly recently. Some are better than others but mostly the reason I don't show them to people is that they are too personal and I don't open up like that to most people. But you already know all of this stuff so read away if you would like. Though really there are much better poems on the next shelf up."

"I think I'd like to take a look at these if you're sure it's okay."

"You certainly can't think me any crazier than you already do."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey all. I normally don't take the time to write the disclaimers designating what is mine and what isn't but in this chapter and the next (which also happens to be the last) has made this seem more important. I have never owned any part of Criminal Minds. I lay claim only to my story lines and the fictional characters I develop, namely my unsubs in my case fics and Maggie. In this chapter and in the next one, there are poems I will be attributing to Maggie but really those are mine as well. As those of you who read my things often know, if I "borrow" from other writers, I will always give credit but these are mine, all mine. They are hardly works of art but I felt they were appropriate to the story and to Maggie.-J**

Spencer sat in one of the very comfortable reading chairs in Maggie's library and read through the book. It didn't take long for him to read it. It didn't ever take long for him to read much of anything. Though he did find it slower going to get through some of the poems as there seemed to be moisture in his eyes causing the words to blur. He understood now why she didn't let just anyone read them. He had seen her naked many times before but didn't think she had ever been so exposed to him. He was honored and slightly intimidated that she was allowing him access to this book.

"So what is the verdict Mr. Bookworm?"

"What does the 'E' stand for?"

"What?"

"Your middle name, what is it?"

"Ellen, why do you ask?"

"I feel like you bare your soul to me on a regular basis and more so now…it just seemed odd that I didn't know your middle name."

Maggie laughed.

"Margaret Ellen James, now tell me what you thought of the poems."

"You're good. Some of them are just heart wrenching though. Like this one for instance:

Lemon drop cotton candy smiles/Pigtail ringlets ribbon pink/Happy bouncing carefree child/Twirling eyelash playful wink."

"What is so sad about that?"

"Nothing in that stanza, actually the imagery is quite nice but then when it continues:

Fairytale forest dark and deep/Winding path usurps the light/Feverish haunted visions creep/Scuttling laugh in corner sight.

Sneering fangs saliva drips/Glowing looming eyes wild gold/Ruffled anklet flesh is ripped/Porcelain rose lips drained cold."

"I guess that did get a little dark, didn't it?"

"Yeah, you had a lot of hurt and anger when you wrote that, didn't you?"

"I suppose I did."

"There are really no joyful poems in here. Have you never felt joy?"

"Not a lot of it, I guess and when I do, I don't feel as compelled to write poetry. My poems are a way to deal with the negative. Lizzie will always have that over me."

"Your passion and honesty is as great as hers. Perhaps you are even more honest and revealing than she was. You know that art isn't all just pretty flowers."

"I suppose not. But I fear I have upset you with my writing."

"No you haven't. I feel very proud that you have trusted me with this."

"I can't keep things from you, my prince. And I know there's no need."

Spencer considers this for a moment and then decides that he can finally ask a question he's been wanting to for some time.

"Maggie, I have to ask you something. I've wanted to for a while but at first I wasn't sure you would answer me completely and then I wasn't sure I really wanted the answer but I really need to know this."

"What is it, my love?"


	6. Chapter 6

"What exactly happened when you brought me home from the airstrip? I know you brought me here and I know I woke up next to you in the morning all clean and snug and safe. I'm missing really everything before I woke up, I only know you brought me home because this is where I woke up and you told me you did."

"Are you sure you want to hear this?"

Spencer nods earnestly. And Maggie takes a deep breath closing her eyes and going back in her mind to that horrible night when the reality of her boyfriend's job hit her smack in the face.

_The drive home was quiet. Well, Spencer was quiet. Maggie kept up a steady stream of words trying to keep her love from feeling alone. She needed him to know that she was there and that he was loved. Not that anything she said was of any consequence. She just prattled on about the cats and her classes and really not much of anything else. Spencer sat still and quiet in the passenger seat. He was crying but softly and without a sound save for an occasional whimper. It broke her heart. She even tried drawing him out by talking about a show she had watched on the Science channel about a man trying to build a warp drive engine. Under other circumstances he would have had plenty to say on the matter but he said nothing. Maggie wasn't even sure he was hearing her._

_Once at home, Maggie slung his bag over her shoulder and went to his side of the car to open his door. He tensed as she reached across him to unbuckle his seat belt and Maggie had to work to hold back the tears._

"_It's okay, baby, it's just me. You can't sleep in the car."_

_Reluctantly Spencer took her hand and stood. She paused to shut the car door and then led him to the house. He almost stumbled up the steps to the porch but she was able to steady him all the while cooing a string of words that she didn't even care about making sense. Inside the house, she went to the couch and set down his bags. She looked over to see Spencer standing rigidly at the door. She wanted to run to him but knew that it would only frighten him more. So she dug through his go bag until she found pajama pants and a t-shirt. With those in hand she took his hand and led him up the stairs and to her room. He willingly sat on the bed and didn't even seem to know where he was. Maggie tentatively began to unbutton his shirt and heard a small squeak of fright escape his throat._

"_It's alright, Spencer. I won't hurt you. I promise."_

_With his shirt off, she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself seeing the cuts all over his chest. None were deep but there were so many of them and she felt angry that anyone could have done this to her sweet prince. She collected herself knowing that he would be able to sense her upset and she needed to stay calm if he was to stay calm. She got him to stand so that she could remove his pants. He jumped as she reached for his belt but she spoke softly to him and he relaxed quickly. His trust in her was returning. She removed his pants and boxers and became painfully aware that he had not been cleaned up at all as was evidenced by the dried blend of blood and semen in his boxers. She sat him back down and reassured him gently that she wouldn't be gone long and moved swiftly down the hall to start running a bath for him. Returning to the bedroom she found him curled into a ball on his side on the bed. He was not crying but just curled as tightly and as small as he could make himself. She spoke softly as she approached him so that he would not jump when she touched him. She was able to get him to stand once again and lead him to the bathroom where the water was by now high enough. With little instruction he was able to climb into the tub and she grabbed a washcloth to help clean him up. She was almost afraid to touch him anywhere for fear of scaring him but especially she was afraid of reaching to clean the mess from his buttocks and the backs of his legs. She kept talking to him nearly whispering in his ear describing what she was doing and why as she went along. She tried to give him the cloth so that he could clean himself but he didn't register that she was even trying to hand him anything. So she reached down into the sudsy water and cleaned him as tears started to silently fall from his wounded eyes. _

_Once clean she assisted him to a standing position and helped him step out of the tub. Maggie wrapped a towel around his waist and led him to her bedroom. Once inside, she dried him off and got him to step into some clean boxers and the pajamas she had brought upstairs. Only then did she get him to lie down in the bed and pulled the blankets up around him. She took a chance and kissed him lightly on the forehead before climbing into the bed herself. He was curled tightly into a ball again and Maggie opted to try to hold him. His muscles stiffened at first but he seemed to realize who was with him without a word from her. Maggie continued to hold him as he fell asleep in her arms. She tried to sleep herself but was only able to doze lightly for no more than a half hour or so at a time._

"But you slept right through which was all that mattered to me at the time. And when you woke up, you were able to talk to me and you weren't frightened of me anymore."

"I can't believe you did all of that for me."

"I love you! You would have done the same for me if places were reversed. I was actually glad that there was something I could do for you. I felt pretty helpless when they brought you off of that plane."

* * *

That night Spencer lay awake for a while listening to Maggie's deep, even breathing. He wasn't upset, he was just reflecting on how good things were with so much more of themselves in the open of their relationship. The intimacy was something he never could have imagined. Eventually he drifted off to sleep thinking of one of her poems she simply called Sparkle.

"Sparkle happy sunshine girl/Ran so far away/Dark and clouds stole your light/At the dawn of happy days.

Rain makes streaks down apple cheeks/Still no flowers grow/Grey path winding into dark/To quash the girlish glow.

Draw up the sheet to hide the corpse/Of wonderment deceased/Dreams atrophy for want of care/Stubborn fist will not release."

"Goodnight my sunshine girl."


End file.
